Thursday, February 24, 2011

Making decisions

Should I get strawberry or chocolate? … Watch Glee or How I met your mother? Hang out with friends or do my homework? Go to USC or UCLA? Move to IN or stay in CA?

Making decisions is always a hard thing to do. We are taught since we are children that we have to decide between two or more options to get what we want. Every decision we make is an actual choice at the end. One never knows what the result it’s going to be. Making decisions is a challenge, it’s scary, and sometimes, being able to make a decision on your own, is a gift.
Tonight is one of those nights when I can’t sleep. I have to make a decision and it’s not an easy one.  I have to decide the course of my life. Where to live? Where to study? Where to go?... I’ve faced this situation many times before, and regardless the fact that I don’t like to be under pressure, this is never even a little bit fun.
I know life take turns and we have to be prepared for them. We need to have a plan B even for the route we’re going to take every morning to go to work. But, deciding your future puts you under a lot of pressure. What happens if you don’t make the right choice? What if you get hurt during the process? What if you hurt others by making the decision that would make you happy? What about you, and just you? Are you ever going to be fully satisfied by choosing between two things that could make you happy?
Tonight is one of those nights. I need to tell myself that everything is going to work out well at the end. Sooner or later it does. Maybe happiness is immediate; maybe it takes longer to come… No, making decisions it’s not my strongest skill. I’m the kind of girl that will usually leave her life to the fortune. By choosing my path I feel like I’m not giving myself the chance to fail… to change… to try again.
Tonight is one of those nights. I’ve decided, once again, that I’m not going to make this decision. I’m going to write about it and then forget about it. I’m going to leave my life take the turn it needs to take. The direction it has to be. I’m sure it’s going to be just fine. As we grow up we learn to be more patience, more satisfied and more comfort with life. We should all be leading that path: the path of growth, the one that teaches us not only to make a decision, but also not to make it. Because we can’t have everything under control. Because we don’t have magic powers, and we can’t change what it’s meant to be.
Tonight is the night, I have decided at the end what I really want: to be happy, either here or somewhere else… either watching glee or watching friends. Because the choices I don’t make are actually the ones that lead my path.

When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice.  ~William James