People think that a soulmate is the person who you perfectly match with... that's what everybody wants.. but an authentic soulmate is like a mirror, is that person who gets out of you everything you have inside, that person who makes you look inside yourself so you can change your life. A real soulmate is, for sure, the most important person you're gonna meet in your life, because they destroy all the walls that have you enclosed and they make you wake up to a real life. but....being with a soulmate for ever?, no way. you live a sad life. A soulmate arrives to your life to take away the veil in your eyes, and then... they leave.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I've known a lot of people in my short life. I have a pocket full of friends that I would like to keep with me my entire life, and I will. Because they deserve to be in my life and I believe I deserve to be on their lives.
And i've met them from all kinds... the ones who tried so hard to impress me, the ones who didn't give a shit about my life and then turned into my best friends, the ones that only wanted to have sex with me, the ones who needed popularity from me, the ones who hated me for no reason, the ones who hated me with tons of reasons.... a lot of them loved me for nothing... "you've charmed everybody you've met" my mother told me one day, and of course I didn't believe her... but who will?, she's my mother so she will tell me what I want to hear.
Here I am, trying to find the words to describe what people mean to me. And I cant.And is not that I dont feel anything for anybody... in fact i feel love, hate, care and everything else about tons of people.
But in this long way i've lived, I have basically met 2 types of people. And if you like me, you dont really wanna be in the first type.
in general, it takes a very long, deep and harsh path to actually get a spot in my heart. And when I look into it, the price is not even worth it. Because, lets face the truth, I dont really care about you.
It seems to me that I have had this image of me for so long that i've never learned to express my emotions to tipe number one, and IM SO BAD AT FAKING IT (not IT, but this yes, haha). I've developed this stupid habit where I pretend to be mad, or excited about something, or insulted, when really all i'm focusing on is I don't give a shit about you. And, lucky me, type number one is here to stay, and they'll always be, because that's my destiny. The worse part is when I convince my self that I like someone under tipe one section, and I develope this sick relationship where I convence myself that I LOVE this person... but of course it doesn't work.. it doesnt matter if it is friendship, love relationship, work relationship.. anything, it is NOT gonna work.
The later is the most annoying one. I repeat: it's no worth it.
Publicado por maria @ 4:26 AM
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I am a whole new person.. im in shock... lol.
Ok, so this is what happened today, I woke up early, I'VE BEEN STUDYING ALL DAY.. and now i'm so ready for bed and a perfect day tomorrow with my friends planning our trips arround the world.
UGHHHH THAT SOUNDS SOOO NOT LIKE ME HAHAHAHA ... i'm turning into an american asshole huh?... nope, always me.. and yes, i'm having fun in my life, i'm enyoing it so very much ... BUT there's no need to fake the excitment...
so, i'm going to bed now. but I wanted to leave here this photo.
because if I had magic powers, I would turn her into a pocket person.. and take her everywhere with me... for the rest of my life. I love her, like I LOVE NOBODY ELSE IN THIS WORLD.
Publicado por maria @ 8:57 PM
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
I like to make a mess out of my life. I'm comlicated and even when I know I can have everything I want, I find myself trying to make everything worse than it is.
Yes, i'm such an asshole.. and this is what I mean when I say I can't stand myself.
I get from my parents everything I ask.. and now i'm like "should I study or work??".. oh god, if they're paying maria just fucking go and study your ass out if necessary...
Even ifmy life now looks like this wall full of cookies and Im like standing in front of it trying to decide for ONE OF THEM.. and only ONE.time of my life, yes I am.
Publicado por maria @ 8:08 PM
Monday, July 5, 2010
I've spent the last 30 hours awake... but, awake and doing stuff.. reading, studying, getting homework done, going to starbucks for some iced tea and eating.. tons of cereal.
This is serious.
I know I'm excited about my future and I know life right now kinda sucks because I'm gonna finish school here and move up north to finally study in a real college and no the piece of shit that we have here...
BUT... There's NO NEED to be so anxious about this 6 months early
I still need to go skiing, finish school.. take exams.. take the toefl... pay USC and find a roommate in case I decide not to go live on campus... although that sounds like so much fun...uh huh... so I'll probably go for it.
On top of all this, I need to get a car ... car insurance and blah blah... and pay for that...
Oh well, 30 hs of having my head spinning up is NO BUENO.
but there so many good things about this.
First off my tv is on Disney channel right now and they're playing HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL I... So cute...
it just make me happy.
well, the other very good thing is that i'll be super close to my american friends and we'll have "the time of our lives"...yes, i'm lucky sometimes.
and at the end, the general idea of leaving argentina is such so nice. Nobody that had never lived in a country that still uses VHS reproducers could understand why.
21st century here I come.
AS TROY AND GABRIELLA ARE Singing: "THIS COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING NEW"...and it would !!!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
oh oh oh is magic, you know...
never believe its no so...
Ok, i'm starting my blog again.. my life .. one day at a time...
I'll do it my way and I'll keep it secret from everybody else, at least for now. who cares anyway? lets face it maria, nobody reads your wrong spelled blog ... whatsoever.
I'm moving to LA YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Publicado por maria @ 9:17 PM