I've known a lot of people in my short life. I have a pocket full of friends that I would like to keep with me my entire life, and I will. Because they deserve to be in my life and I believe I deserve to be on their lives.
And i've met them from all kinds... the ones who tried so hard to impress me, the ones who didn't give a shit about my life and then turned into my best friends, the ones that only wanted to have sex with me, the ones who needed popularity from me, the ones who hated me for no reason, the ones who hated me with tons of reasons.... a lot of them loved me for nothing... "you've charmed everybody you've met" my mother told me one day, and of course I didn't believe her... but who will?, she's my mother so she will tell me what I want to hear.
Here I am, trying to find the words to describe what people mean to me. And I cant.And is not that I dont feel anything for anybody... in fact i feel love, hate, care and everything else about tons of people.
But in this long way i've lived, I have basically met 2 types of people. And if you like me, you dont really wanna be in the first type.
in general, it takes a very long, deep and harsh path to actually get a spot in my heart. And when I look into it, the price is not even worth it. Because, lets face the truth, I dont really care about you.
It seems to me that I have had this image of me for so long that i've never learned to express my emotions to tipe number one, and IM SO BAD AT FAKING IT (not IT, but this yes, haha). I've developed this stupid habit where I pretend to be mad, or excited about something, or insulted, when really all i'm focusing on is I don't give a shit about you. And, lucky me, type number one is here to stay, and they'll always be, because that's my destiny. The worse part is when I convince my self that I like someone under tipe one section, and I develope this sick relationship where I convence myself that I LOVE this person... but of course it doesn't work.. it doesnt matter if it is friendship, love relationship, work relationship.. anything, it is NOT gonna work.
The later is the most annoying one. I repeat: it's no worth it.